it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
