you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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