Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
