The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize