I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize