Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
