I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
