belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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