did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
