i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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