Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
