have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
