I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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