the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
