I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize