I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
