I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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