I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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