roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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