I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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