yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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