He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
