Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
