I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
