Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
