I look better un-naked...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
