I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
