meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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