I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my sisters under your porch take her home
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
