brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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