You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
