Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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