Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
