Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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