Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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