Say something about gay babies.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize