You work out of a Hotel?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have tasted many bathrooms
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
