Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
why do cheetos always look like penises
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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