Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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