there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
