Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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