Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
