i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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