if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
