The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
