I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
