I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
