In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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