This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize