I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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