The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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