You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm passing your future prison.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
