...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
