And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
