So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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