I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
