All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
