i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
