Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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