Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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