We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
