By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
