yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
